batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
