Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
