my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The best revenge is premature balding
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
