The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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