I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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