wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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