Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
