hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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