did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
