he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
