I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
