ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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