ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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