so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
