my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
