If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
