FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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