I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
that's an acceptable place to lick
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
