We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
