just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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