I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
