So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
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he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
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I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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