I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
