What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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