i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
