I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
