Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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