he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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