I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize