I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
