therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
