u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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