Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
