it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
