Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
