lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
