I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
