I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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