please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
