Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.