atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm at about main and main street
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
