That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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