my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
