you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
