There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He has the fingertips of a God
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