Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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