Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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