that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
