WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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