We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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