he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
