I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
