i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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