used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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