I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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