Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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