i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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