i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she peed on how many people?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
