Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
no, he came in my armpit
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
