is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
