summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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