Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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