I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
