DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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